I recently wrote a guest blog post for my Twitter friend Alison Bayne, (founder of the excellent Mumtopia blog) on the not-so-glamourous subject of ...washing up. (Or, for my American friends, ‘doing the dishes’.)

But this can be a much-loathed chore for many people, not just us mums, so here’s the blog post again for MPWH readers:

“A woman's just too tired to think
about the dirty old dishes in the kitchen sink.” 
Eurythmics

The washing-up. Love it? Or hate it?

I once had a conversation with a man who couldn't understand why there were dirty pots in my sink. He asked me, in all sincerity, "Don't you like washing-up?" All I could offer in response was a Homer Simpson-esque blank stare. Like washing-up? What on earth was he talking about? He went on to explain that when he got home from work, he actually found it quite relaxing to put his hands in a bowl of hot soapy water and gaze happily out of the kitchen window as he got on with the washing up. 

That was something of a revelation for me - I'd previously assumed that everyone loathed the dreaded washing-up and that some just got on with it more successfully than others. This lead me to the conclusion that I belonged to the latter camp - Washing-up Avoider. In psychological circles, they would call it resistance. Whereas certain (unsympathetic) family members may refer to it as laziness. Whatever the label, I'm not a natural born washer-upper. Which is fine, we all have varying strengths and weaknesses. However due to a constantly grazing family, a comprehensive recycling regime and an aversion to putting plastic in the dishwasher, in my kitchen there is a never-ending stream of items to be washed. 

So what to do?

Well, it has taken many years of messy kitchens for me to come up with an approach that helps (most of the time). This approach uses two ideas. The first idea is a perennial favourite of mine - delegation. I am blessed with dishwasher but for years I only made minimal use of it. However, I've come to realise that I could, and should, exploit it as much as possible.

Whereas before, I would leave large items by the sink, awaiting a willing washer-upper (usually a lengthy wait, in my home...), nowadays, I shove anything and everything in there (except plastic) and set the poor thing running almost constantly. This tactic has been particularly successful in keeping the kitchen sink clear (ish), but happily the dishwasher seems to like it too! It performs much better when used regularly than if it is left for a day or so. I believe they call this a win-win. 

My second plan of attack is to analyse the time:angst ratio of the wash-up-now-or-later dilemma. I find a sink full of pots mildly depressing. If my kitchen is a state, the sight of it can really effect my mood. It's a downer. In fact, I have come to believe that, since I work from home, the state of my kitchen has a mysterious link with how my day will go. Feng shui enthusiasts would be able to explain this link but even without evidence from the invisible realm, if a messy kitchen gets me down, that's bound to have repercussions throughout my day. (I'm a big advocate of the mood=attitude=results school of thought, so for a successful and happy life, I try to eliminate causes of bad moods wherever possible.)

So, I have developed a habit of assessing the time required to regain my clean kitchen and then compare this to the misery I will encounter if I don't. When you consider the job in these terms it becomes obvious what to do. You can spend approximately 10/15 minutes doing work (that you will have to do anyway) or you can leave it and allow it to make you depress/overwhelm you for the rest of the day. I find this analysis very helpful in deciding whether to bother.

When you attach the result (clean kitchen) to something appealing (happier life), you become naturally motivated. Sometimes this is all it takes to make that all-important move tap-wards. Even better, the more you do this, the easier it gets! One day, you may even find that you have already finished the washing-up before it even occurred to you that leaving it was an option. For the Washing-Up Avoider in search of more order and harmony, that habit is like the Holy Grail.

However, for some (like me on a bad day) the knee-jerk resistance to 'do it later' can be a strong one. There may days when you need heavier motivational artillery. So for an added boost, keep in mind that if you do power through your resistance and get on with it straightaway, it will probably take less time and effort. It's a route to spending less time at the kitchen sink - who in their right mind wouldn't want that? 

You could also try harnessing the power of music. Create a playlist or CD compilation of upbeat music and get in the habit of putting it on after breakfast/dinner (whenever you are most tempted to step away from the awaiting dishes). Any chore becomes less unpleasant when combined with tunes you love to sing along to. (You can check out my Washing Up Playlist here).

Another powerful trick is to call to mind the happy feelings you will experience when the job is done. Maybe it's because I am such a washing-up phobic, but I find enormous pleasure in a beautiful, clean and tidy kitchen. It makes me smile. It even makes me more inclined to cook something nutritious or bake something calorific. Powerful results for an Undomestic Goddess like me. Picturing this happy scenario is a form of visualisation, a technique that drives Olympic athletes to the winners podium - so surely it can help with a few dirty pots and pans? 

So there you have it. My Non-Washer-Upper's Guide To Washing-Up. And like all good converts I am evangelical about the benefits of claiming victory over your kitchen, so I really hope you'll give it a go.

As for me, I've got a dishwasher to empty...